In the early stages of all of this I was fooled into thinking that someone listening was trying to help me.  This someone encouraged me to create a new code or means of communicating each time I say "the bad guys", would figure out what I was trying to tell the one/ones trying to help me.  At the time I was under the impression or maybe false illusion is a better phrase that I happened to be caught in the middle of a cat and mouse game between 2 big somebodies.  anyway,  This went from eye blinking to turning the lights off.  I would flash "SOS" with the out door light so maybe someone would see it and so on. 

      This finally evolved to the point that pictures were flashed into my mind.  Very brief pictures.  So for instance if I did not feel safe I would also flash back to them through my mind a picture of a safe with a hash mark through it for "not".  I know, sounds totally nuts shouldn't even put it into words and in public domain of all places.  But it has to be done.  If Anne Frank hadn't written her diary who would have known? 

      I bring this up now because it has evolved further yet, into actual video in my mind.  And you thought I was nuts in the paragraph above.  And I only bring these two things up because whome ever is doing this needs serious help.  They are enjoying thoughts of physically torturing me.  Not only are they enjoying it but they are actually becoming what I believe to be stimulated by it.  I wouldn't know that except for the fact that I have experienced some very unnusual things with this technology how it works I have no clue, who designed it, needs to destroy it. 

      The video is just as you would imagine watching on t.v. only in your mind.  I see myself being tied up, beaten, hit..... I see people laughing about it.  So both still images as well as movie images can be seen.  Thats not all folks.....the memories will get ya!  I have had memories from my past pulled back into my mind as if they were yesterday.  I can see my Great-Grandfather's house as clear as a bell and everything on the shelf and his foot tapping to polka music.  The memory was so vivid not even h.d. could top it.  whose logo was it "imagine the possibilities"? 

      Ok, seeing your Grandpa's house isn't so bad, right? But who said I wanted anyone to go into my brain and pull that memory up?  I gave NO ONE the consent to play with any "big boy toy" to see what kind of emotional rollar coaster they could create for me.  All of this is done right here in my own home.  I don't know how it is done.  I don't know who is doing it.  And I don't want them doing it anymore. 

      Moral of the story:  When you wake up in the morning (like I did this morning) and someone flashes a evil looking devil with glowing red eyes in your mind to scar the pants off you, you know your going to have a bad day. 

      FYI:  No  I don't think the devil is talking to me.  No I don't think God is talking to me.  So don't even go there !

      Update on the Senator's office 1st-sorry boring stuff first.....I e-mailed the aid yesterday with a link to : http://www.atcsd.com/gov_sol.html showing him that there are actual military devices that can do exactly what I am describing.  Sending sound to individuals without them being "schitzophrenic".  My main objective with this aid, Mr. Micah Intermill, is to A.  Get him to admit that just because a person hears voices/sounds does not 100% mean that they are schizophrenic.  B.  Thet the possiblity exists that I may be one of those individuals.  C.  That further investigation is warranted.  Not so much to ask from a tax paid politicians officer.....  I also sent him the following e-mail: 

     First of all I feel the need to cover my butt.  I have been trying to convince a senator from my state of our torture or atleast that something is going on for over a year now.  I originally sent him a simple e-mail asking him to look into electromagnetic weapons experimentation and mentioned nothing specific of what I am/was enduring.  I simply told him that I did not have the contacts that the senator's office had and that I felt that something peculiar was going on and asked him to look into it.  After a few phone conversations which didn't amount to much and like I said I didn't mention anyting in particular he simply said that that office would be unable to assist me.  Well I for one am not willing to accept that answer.  As long as he is in office I feel that he is responsible to answer to me.  I as a tax paying citizen, a tortured one at that have that right.  Needless to say this aid and I do not hit it off well anyway.  At one point I believe I may have insinuated that he may be "closed minded" which may have been a bad idea when trying to start a working relationship with a polititions office but what can I do about it now?  Nothing.. 

      Last week I sent him a new e-mail, (following), a link to the History Channel's MKULTRA documentary http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13845.htm , and a link to the PARIS device http://www.evl.uic.edu/core.php?mod=4&type=1&indi=83 , which in my view could be used as a means to "control" a victim as described by many and as I have felt controlled myself.  This device was funded by NSF and the project ended in 2002 so I would expect it to be much improved and the uses to be of great variety.  I am looking forward to anyones opinion on this issue. 

     I know some say that we should not mention our own torment but I feel that we can not do that any longer.  Wo, let me back up.  I think that we have to MENTION our torment.  I think that we have to keep our letters short and sweet however.  We have to grab the reader, give them the resources to find info and leave it at that.  Lets face it, we don't know for sure what's going on.  But one thing is for certain, and that is that it can NOT continue for much longer!  I can NOT take it!  MANY others feel the same way.  We are losing!  For the first time in my life, as a Christian, as a Mother, as a Woman, as a Human, the Bad in the world is more powerful than the Good.  I NEVER believed that I would see the day. 

Here is the e-mail that I sent the senator's office:

     He e-mailed me back shortly thereafter and wanted to know the names of my/my children's dr's and the county that I lived in???  I replyed to him that I did not feel that the dr's names would be of any use to him and that he did not have my permission to release any of the information I had given him other than for investigation into unconsensual human experimentation.  I did give him my county of residence for further investigation purposes, which is what is what the information was intended for.  I assured him that I am taking care of my psychological well being so there should be no questions.   

     I really wanted to get into some more detail of what is going on but I felt in necessary to be public with what was going on relating to this aspect of my activisim in case......well we all know.....  Thanks for letting me take care of business.    

      This has been a long haul.  Hell actually.  A never ending battle of sorting information and learning.  Don't get me wrong.  I love science, let me rephrase that, I used to love sciece.  I used to preach that "science is cool" to the kids.  I hate science.  And in our house the word "hate" isn't allowed.  You can dislike someone or something but you do not hate anything.  I hate science and I hate whoever is doing this and giving the ok for them to do it.  God and I will discuss it when I get there. 

     There are so many uncertainties that lie with these technologies.  It's confusing, I believe when so many people are being used as experiments in so many different ways and when they come together knowing that their one common bond is being experimented on they keep trying to find similarities it creates more confusion.  Me, I'm open to almost all of them.  Once you have heard your thoughts repeated to you in your own mind as you think them.   And your words read to you as you type them, just for starters, you tend to be open minded to many different possibilities. 

     Welcome to my world.....